Animals Caught Doping Show No Remorse

by Tim Wall

Performance enhancing drugs recently soiled the reputation of one of humanity’s top athletes. Animals have no such scruples about doping. All levels of the animal kingdom, from flies to top predators, indulge in drugs and alcohol. Sometimes humans even push intoxicants on the creatures.

  • Jaguars seek out the leaves of the vine Banisteriopsis caapi, which contains a psychoactive chemical. After ingesting the leaves, the largest predator in South America will roll around like a house cat on catnip…
  • Like a surreal wildlife documentary scripted by heroin-addicted author William Burroughs, wallabies in Tasmania devour opium poppies grown for the pharmaceuticals industry. Then the messed-up marsupials make crop circles and nod off…
  • Drinking alcohol and flying are just about the most dangerous possible combination of activities for humans, but not so for bats. The airborne mammals seem to be able to hold their liquor. In the wild, fruit-eating bats encounter fermented food. The sugar in fruit can be naturally fermented into alcohol by wild yeasts. Because of this, alcohol is most likely to occur in the ripest, most sugary fruits…
  • Red-collared lorikeets, the brightly colored parrot shown here, seem to get dangerously drunk every year, stumbling about the streets and falling from the trees in Australia’s Northern Territory. The bird bender starts in June or August and ends with the wet season in October and November…

(read more: Discovery News)

(photos: TL - Marcus Obal | Wiki; TR - Bidgee | Wiki; BL - Joxerra Aihartza | Wiki; BR - Ted | Wiki)

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    Animals Caught Doping Show No Remorse
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    Also, a guide to pain relief (or getting fucked up?) in the wild should it become necessary.
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    It’s all natural, baby
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